Filling up the Love tank

I'm pretty sure my toddler J. is running on empty. He has been more grumpy and aggressive than normal. He starts sobbing whenever the baby cries, and has even tried to push the baby over from time to time. We have had a couple of really stressful weeks and I am afraid they have taken their toll on his emotions. Yesterday I started giving J. focused attention, without the baby. I made a point of putting S. down when J. needed something. I spent quite a bit of time sitting on the couch and snuggling, and we had a great rough-housing session with him jumping off of the couch and into my arms. I did notice a bit of difference in his attitudes by evening. He nursed for a shorter time, and went to bed without any problems.

This morning he only snuggled for about 5 mins, as opposed to his usual 15 and then he went off to play by himself. He is now happily coloring with daddy and has left me alone to finish this blog entry (which usually never happens, I quite often type to the sound of crying)

Several years ago i read a book titled "The 5 love languages" which has a theory that we all give and receive love in 5 basic ways. J. is most definitely a "quality time" child. He doesn't really snuggle much--he prefers to play with you or read together. When he is given enough attention he becomes a much more peaceful happy child. when his tank runs low he begins to act out in order to get attention. The more I work with this theory the more convinced I am that it is a good one. It also puts a lot of behaviours into perspective. I don't feel right in punishing him for a behaviour that I, ultimately, helped to happen.

If you haven't read the book yet, give it a try, I believe there is a version for children now. let me see if i can figure out how to put a link in:

http://www.amazon.com/Five-Love-Languages-Children/dp/1881273652/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1248880271&sr=8-3

This is the book for kids, which I have not read yet, but am assuming it has the same stuff as the original, only with a different focus.

Here is the original: I highly recommend it for married couples, however you can use the principals for any relationship, really, if you change things up (certian recommended activities just don't translate, but you can substitute others in.)

http://www.amazon.com/Five-Love-Languages-Heartfelt-Commitment/dp/1881273156/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1248880271&sr=8-1