overdoing it

Whenever I am doing something I shouldn't be doing, I get stopped. Yesterday it was simply walking to the store with the kiddos, and, well, shopping, losing my coupon organizer (which had coupons, store credits and gift certificates in it) stressing out, finding it, then taking a phone call I should have let go to voice mail, then letting said phone call stress me out, then walking back home with a cranky 3 year old in tow...and all without eating a proper meal first. I almost didn't make it home. We wound up sitting under a tree at the gas station a block form our home, raiding our groceries for a snack. I had to go slooooowly and pause every ten yards or so. It helped that J. was totally enthralled with the dandelion seed flowers and kept stopping to pick and blow them. In retrospect I can see that i was "Setting myself up for failure" but at the time I was just working down my "to-do" list and ignoring my instincts. I had to spend the remainder of the day resting, and coping with lots of annoying (but not painful) braxton-hicks contractions...they seem to be triggered by stress lately.

God gave us instincts for a reason. I firmly believe He speaks to us in that way, allowing us to choose weather or not to listen. I am listening loud and clear.

I will not go out alone like that again. I will allow my hubby to take care of me. I am (slowly) learning not to let others and my own guilt have so much power over me--realizing that I can control how I let things get to me.

Today I feel free. I am happily resting and puttering about. I found an adorable crochet pattern for a little girls poncho and I hope to finish it by the time the baby comes. Just for today, I will forget the outside world exists and do what my mind and body wants to do...relax, focus inwards, and enjoy this little blessing growing inside.

Mostly hard times

Reflecting over the last few months, I have come to realize my little family has experienced mostly hard times. We have been put through an emotional ringer, some of it may have been avoided, but for the most part, when those around us are suffering we tend to be sympathetic and try to help. Someone commented to me today that I had to be "The strong one...again" they said so with an air of regret. But to be honest. It's not me. My strength comes from God alone. When I am going through hard times I ask for the Lord to help me thru. and he does. So I don't mind (mostly) being strong, because I am not doing it alone.

The end of the Media Fast

ok, well, it ended about a week ago, but I thought I should post a few reflections here>

Reflection #1. turning off the tv/talk radio brings an instant peaceful feeling into ones home.

Reflection #2. I really really, really like tv.

Reflection #3. I can get so much accomplished if I just focus on the task at hand. For example, folding the laundry as it dries and immediately putting it away, as opposed to letting it pile up onto the couch then settling down to watch an episode of CSI and sloooooowly folding it.

Reflection #4. I didn't miss much. other than a story arc or two, but nothing of a real, lasting value was missed out on.

Reflection #5. Simplicity is much better achieved without constant "noise" urging on my fleshly desires....for more food, more land, better cleaning supplies, more useless political debate.

So there it is in a nutshell. I was also surprised at how much of the Bible I was able to read thru...I am reading it chronologically and am in the midst of 2 Samuel/psalms. Need to get back to that.

I did enjoy the experience, however found myself at constant war with it at the same time. I am choosing to continue with a "partial" media fast from here on. I have just been making the decision to leave the tv or pc or radio off. untll my work is "done" (ha!) and then I make sure to have some sort of busy activity at hand...crocheting a new hat for myself at the moment. I am really enjoying this lessened dependency on outside stimulation!

Back on track..

I've been avoiding the TV again, and I feel much better!! I didn't realize how much of my time and energy it was sucking up.

Lately I have been trying to find creative alternatives to cleaning and beauty products...not that I used tons of them but cutting back is a good thing, as our funds are extremely limited. Here are some creative alternatives I have found, in using "food" type ingredients:

Coconut oil: I have replaced lotion with Coconut oil. I like the unprocessed unrefined kind, it smells like summer time!

Baking Soda: I use it to freshen up carpets, just sprinkle about the rug at night, and vacuum it up first thing in the morning, you can also add tea leaves or chamomile or peppermint or lavender or a combo to this to make a nice scent.
Baking Soda is also FANTASTIC for brushing your teeth with! I actually had NO cavities after using this for several months, when I use "traditional" toothpaste I always seem to have problems with tooth decay.

Vinegar: Super for de-oderizing laundry just add a splash to your wash cycle, as well as for cleaning the coffee pot, and even scrubbing floors. I add a few drops of Lavender and Rosemary essential oil to it for disinfectant power and a nice smell. (not for the coffee pot though!!)

Olive oil: also a great massage oil, or add some sugar to make a nice body scrub...great for feet!

I have to go now....the natives are getting restless!

Caught with my apron on...

or off... whichever is worse in your eyes! So, I cheated a bit on my media fast. My netflix movie came in this weekend and I sat down to watch it...with a mountain of laundry to fold. At least that is what I told myself as I ignored the call of the kitchen and the two days worth of dirty dishes...and the toys on the floor...and the piles of dirty laundry in the hall.... So there I am indulging myself in a costumed drama, haphazardly folding laundry, and my doorbell rings. It's my new neighbor who (I had forgotten all about) came over as invited! Still dressed up from church.

OOPS

I stood at the door in a panic, tried to do a quick re-schedule, realized how rude it was and then invited her in anyway. She was very gracious and we had a lovely chat, as I scrambled about picking items up so she had a place to sit and madly hoping she didn't find my stretch-pants and over sized eighties sweater a bit too ridiculous. I just kept thinking of my mother and how she got dressed first thing in the morning and always had the house clean by noon...

I think I should do this more often. Having people over that is. I was surprised to learn that we have alot in common....We went to the same high school, are both newly-weds, homemakers, bakers and home cooks, followers of Jesus, we share some of the same rather unusual theological viewpoints, aspire to be better domestic divas, we even know alot of the same people....
It does strike me as odd all that we have in common...I often lament the fact that there are no other young moms/homemakers in my complex as I spend most of my time here as I am still without a car. It seems this slightly awkward start to a friendship just might be an answer to a prayer I didn't know I needed.

Tomorrow I will get up early, and continue my media fast, and get dressed immediately, and clean my house as per my Home-Management Binder schedule---and I will continue to do my usual routine so I can be prepared next time I invite someone over and they actually come.

No TV time...

...means more time for other things. I wish I could say that since I turned off the TV and radio as well as stopped my recreational reading that my house has become a beacon of cleanliness and myself an efficiency expert. Nope. not even close.

The one thing I have noticed is that there is a great deal more peace in the house. J. has stopped asking for cartoons constantly because the tv just isn't on. He still gets to watch one video a day, so I can get a few things done without him "helping." I seem to be taking more time to do my chores, however I am actually enjoying the process of cleaning up instead of just liking the results. My favorite thing about all this is that we have all been playing together as a family in the evenings. Garret has even been teaching the boys how to play music. Well, at least shake the tambourine with great enthusiasm!

Both boys are down for a nap right now, and I am frightfully behind in checking my e-mail. I will spend no more than 20 mins to do that then off I go to prep dinner!

introspection

There was a time in my life when I was desperate to do something of great significance for the Kingdom of God. I longed to make an eternal impact, to leave a mark, so to speak. As I pondered my future I had opposing thoughts. The first was how can I serve the lord if I do not have a Husband? The second, how can I serve Him if I do? The apostle Paul lets young ladies know, that before they are married they are single-hearted in their devotion to God. (1 Corinthians 7:34 (New International Version) An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.) A married woman lives divided, attempting to please her husband and her Lord.
I can say this is absolutely true! The single years I had after I recommitted my life to God, and before I met my husband, were a time of rapid spiritual growth. I experienced a freedom to go wherever I was needed and served Him at various Youth camps.

After Garrett and I married, I found that my spiritual growth changed. For a time, I felt it had stopped, but hindsight puts it in a clearer light. Marriage has been a crucible for me. I don't like introspection, in fact, I can be quite fearful of it. However, when I was young I prayed that the Lord bring any circumstance into my life to mold me into the woman He wants me to be. Tough prayer. Lately I have been confronted with some very uncomfortable facts about myself. I have learned that, indeed, I am not perfect. sometimes, I am not even "not too bad" the Lord has revealed to me many aspects of my character that are not good. I am attempting to remedy them now. I am sure that life will bring them to the forefront time and time again. I am learning to welcome adversity. with every new trial, i am strengthened, and refined a bit more. Eventually I hope to be a woman of great faith, who is able to tackle any problem with a peaceful spirit. so, today I say, Bring it on Lord!