Stepford wives

I just watched the new re-make of the 70's "classic" and it proved to be a thought provoking endeavor....It showed the worst of both worlds! Seriously, at the beginning you see the very intense, high-powered television executive who is producing lots of, well, just bad TV which completely emasculates the male gender....later on you see her in a total nervous breakdown, fighting with her husband, children unhappy....and even later you hear her and her compatriots commiserating about how terrible things hare and the various cocktails of anti-depressants they depend on to get them thru. Then the woman has a breakthrough...she wants to try it the "Stepford way" meaning, basically, to become a mindless, charming, pretty cleaning machine--obsessed with holiday crafts and baking hundreds of cupcakes. All together, a rather depressing view, as it shows the working mother as, well, insane, and the homemaker as, well, insane.

But it doesn't have to be that way! I know many a working mother, who, though circumstances keep her in the workplace they still manage to put their families first. My own mother was an example of that. She taught us how to tend the home, and checked up on us constantly...in fact, we thought she called us too often from work! Dinner was always homemade and around the table. I was actually allowed to take over the kitchen on weeknights from the time I was in junior high...and I loved it! The family, however, was not as thrilled with some of my experimenting at meal planning and new recipes.

I also know many smart, capable and multi-talented women who choose to stay at home. They do all the "mundane" chores, play with and train their children and still manage to keep up with their educations. You can, indeed, be a homemaker and still have your own mind.

But I guess a movie showing the true reality would not be very "interesting"

oh well.

Keeping up...

With the chores! It is really SO much easier when I "keep up" with the housework. I forced myself over the last two days to do the dishes right after eating, and you know what, it was easy! I feel so much more relaxed today as there is no giant pile to contend with while I make lunch. In fact, I almost don't know what to do with myself. Almost. I am doing some research for the book I am writing, and will work on that some more. I also need to "tidy" up the boy's room as they have emptied every shelf, bin and basket in their play. They will be getting chores soon, official ones and a chart even. They are at the age where helping is fun, so I plan to take full advantage of it!

I have been musing over the way we do things lately and have come to this conclusion. Half the food I have in the house I can probably make from scratch! I have the bread recipe down, and I want to do a great deal of canning and preserving this year. I will be on the lookout for a nice food dehydrator...one with actual instructions. My fave thrift store often has them, I will just have to figure out a way to get there!

Here are some things I want to experiment with making myself:
Mustard
Barbecue Sauce
Spaghetti Sauce
sun dried tomatoes
canned tomatoes
Pesto (to be frozen?)
Yogurt (I will succeed, eventually)
cream cheese
cottage cheese
Hot cocoa mix
Pancake Mix
Tortillas
Mom's blackberry jam
Strawberry Jam
Apricot Jam
Canned Peaches
Canned Apricots
Frozen berries, nectarines
Applesauce
Pearsauce
Macaroni and cheese
chicken stock (canned?)
beef stock
Sourdough bread
Sprouting beans/rice ect.


My that is quite a list! I am sure I can handle it tho, as the second trimester of pregnancy for me is always one of great energy. I will be enlisting the help of my mother, and perhaps get my cousin and sister in law in on some of the jam action! Maybe the applesauce too. I have a resource for free peaches, nectarines, plums and apricots. I just need to get ahold of some cheap apples and tomatoes. Guess I have alot of growing to do.

Today's menu
Pancakes and eggs
animal crackers
leftover beans and rice
French onion soup,(or possibly tomato if I get too lazy) toasted cheese sandwich (I broke down and bought bread)

The "best" mom I can be...

My darling hubby has a real problem with the term "best" in his mind there is always room for improvement, which can be a very good thing, never settling for something lest than your whole effort...or at least not calling it your best when it really wasn't. For simplicity's sake I will be using the word "best" but in the context that it means the best at this moment with constant striving to do better.

I realized something yesterday. well, I may have realized it many times before but I seem to be one of those slow-changing stubborn types. I can't look at other women to be my example of the "perfect" mother, housekeeper, cook, wife, ect. God has made me utterly unique. I cannot be as organized and prepared as Kate Gosselyn, nor can I be as peacefully serene as Michelle Duggar. I can be me. I can be the joyful, nutty homemaker who would rather snuggle with her kiddos and watch "toy story 2" for the 15th time this month than go mop the floor for the third time. I am now endeavoring to be the "Best" Wife, mother and homemaker that God wants me to be. I can be inspired by the examples of other impressive women, but I will no longer strive to BE them.

We are out of olive oil and I am truly annoyed. It was one ingredient I didn't stock up on, as it can go rancid if on the shelf too long, but alas, now I can't make lots of my favorite foods! We use Olive oil in place of almost all other oils...with the exception of a rare deep-fry now and then. sigh. I may just break down and buy some as it is on sale at Safeway this week, and we can easily walk down there with the stroller and cart our "haul" back. Chicken is also on an incredible sale $.99 for FRESH cut up chicken.

Today's menu:
Pancakes and fried egg

Not sure what to make for snack

Tomato soup, chicken "nuggets" and french fries (Baked)

Orange chicken, steamed rice, stir fry broccoli and carrots. Yummy! (chicken will be purchased today, but I don't view this as a total compromise as we do have a freezer full at my mom's house, but I have no way to get there...waaaaay too long to walk! will remember to stock up after church this week!)

Reflections on Mothering

So, as I lazed on the couch today, recovering from the flu I browsed through netflix and actually "watched" (well, half paid attention to in addition to entertaining the boys ect.) a few episodes of John & Kate plus 8. I was nearly struck dumb by the vast differences in Mothering styles that are out there! For simplicity's sake I will compare them to the Duggar family. Both couples desired to have children, and now have family of greater than average size. There are marked differences in the spacing of the children of course, the Duggars had one or two at a time, and the Gosselyns had two sets of multiples, 2 then 6. And I do admit that we are seeing John and Kate during the tough years when you have "many littles" they have no "bigger kids" to help, Kate does all the housework/cooking/childcare by herself. Michelle's family spacing has allowed that the older children can set an example for and be buddies to the little ones. In this case, everybody helps mom out with the massive house care tasks.
I love the "peace in the midst of the storm" feeling I get from Michelle Duggar. She lives in constant chaos, and yet, somehow still (genuinely) smiles, and manages her family. This family has decided that the typical "American Dream" is not quite for them. Bargain hunting and saving is the name of the game. The children are used to sharing everything, their life centres around two things, their faith and their home. this family seems to have FUN!
Conversely, it seems poor Kate is often caught in the midst of the storm! Having so many of the same age must be a real challenge, like running a pre-school 24/7. I do not admire the way she treats her husband. I do admire the way she plans ahead, is super-prepared and tries to make life easier for those brave few who try and help her out. Her house is always sparkling clean. It seems to me that they are still trying to live the "perfect" keeping-up-with-the-Joneses life. She is very honest with the camera and freely admits she struggles and has mother guilt.

I called it "Mothering styles" because, quite frankly, most mothers can set the moods of their homes. Both John and Jim-bob are good hardworking men, who also happen to be big goofballs who love to play with their kids, and often create greater chaos for the mothers to handle. here is where you see the greatest difference. Michelle laughs gently and accepts her playful husband always pointing out his best attributes. Kate simply treats him like another one of the kids to be managed. These women have different personalities and goals, and it seems they are trying to choose the best for their families, but the journey to that goal looks so different!

I guess I lean towards wanting to be more like Michelle Duggar. I want to set a peaceful and joyful mood in our home...I don't want to shout (which I find myself doing lately) However, there is much I can learn from Kate too, I would love to be able to plan ahead and keep such a tidy house...even with a bunch of littles running around!

Perhaps I will keep "Watching" the show, perhaps not, there are lots more things I could be doing with my time...like playing with my boys and creating fun memories together!

Too tired..

...to post much today. Apparently I am fighting the flu. I will be spending the day doing minimal work and maximum rest and snuggle time with the boys, as they have been clinging to me the last two days anyway.

no menus, just leftovers. If I can keep it down. My face is now peppered with burst capillaries (from the vomiting, gross, I know, but my body doesn't like to let go of its food) , from my forehead down to my collar bones, with the most centered about my eyes...I look like a raccoon. I don't like being sick. I like it even less when the boys are not feeling well either and Garrett is gone for 16 hours a day (he had work, followed by apprentiship (sp?) class). grrr.

Pardon my whining. Hopefully a more cheerful post tomorrow.

Asking for help

It is just one thing I struggle with. I can't seem to ask for help when I need it. This flaw causes undue stress, and even arguments. I am not entirely sure what it is that drives me so, this need to do everything all by myself, perfectly too. Garrett really opened my eyes a while back, and reminded me that the housework is mine to DELEGATE. Ha! I forgot that lesson and had to learn it again, this time with more tears, anger and frustration (I am just a teeny bit hormonal this pregnancy) sigh. Sometimes I wonder if I can ever change. So, here is my new goal. I am going to hang up a sign in my kitchen with some sort of saying referring to humility, help or delegate. Hopefully that will help me remember to ASK.

For today's menu:
Breakfast: Cereal and milk
snack: boiled eggs
Lunch: red beans and rice (I'm making a large batch this time as we ate it all up in one day previously!)
Dinner: Leftovers or Irish nachos (a highly unhealthy but delicious dish involving potatoes, bacon and cheese)

I was definitely NOT pleased with my yogurt outcome, it does not even taste as it should and the texture is just icky. I am not sure weather I should toss it, or figure out how to use it up in some sort of baked/soup recipe. sigh. Maybe if I freeze it we can make smoothies? I'll give that a whirl!

The boys are still sleeping (miraculously, as they have been getting up around 6:30 lately) oops! there goes one!

Weekending

I love Sundays. It really seems that this is my true "Rest day" Other than the boys getting up extra early today, we usually sleep in, I do the dishes then make a big brunch. We have leftovers for lunch and once again, I make a big and unusually early, dinner. I only do enough housework to keep Monday from being depressing. Usually, I work on little projects, like crochet, or sewing or just organizing a particularly cluttered area. today is known as "Projects day" in my Home Management Binder. I need to get that thing out and start following it again. I think my depressed/demotivated attitude is stemming from the fact that at the moment, other than the morning movie and frantic cleaning session (which I am foregoing in order to blog today) we really have no routine to our day.

The only problem with my menus this week is that I forgot to grab the meat we had stored in my mothers large chest-freezer. I'm wondering if there is any way we can fit a small one in our condo, but for now I just have to make an extra trip into Lodi, or (gag) violate my buy nothing but fresh produce/WIC foods rule and pick something up. sigh.

Today's Project: Type up the full "Community Garden" proposal for our Home Owner's Association approval. There is a bit of drama going on over the meeting times, so I am going to see if I can push it through by having the board approve it by e-mail instead of waiting several more weeks for them to figure out a meeting date. I also have the lumber ready and waiting, I'll have it laid out on the balcony until I am ready to use it, or perhaps I'll put it in the gardening area. Hmmm, decisions decisions.

I guess I should go do dishes before I have to get brunch started.

Menu:
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs, country fried potatoes, fried bologna
Lunch: leftovers
Dinner : Orange chicken, steamed rice and stir fry veggies