So, as I lazed on the couch today, recovering from the flu I browsed through netflix and actually "watched" (well, half paid attention to in addition to entertaining the boys ect.) a few episodes of John & Kate plus 8. I was nearly struck dumb by the vast differences in Mothering styles that are out there! For simplicity's sake I will compare them to the Duggar family. Both couples desired to have children, and now have family of greater than average size. There are marked differences in the spacing of the children of course, the Duggars had one or two at a time, and the Gosselyns had two sets of multiples, 2 then 6. And I do admit that we are seeing John and Kate during the tough years when you have "many littles" they have no "bigger kids" to help, Kate does all the housework/cooking/childcare by herself. Michelle's family spacing has allowed that the older children can set an example for and be buddies to the little ones. In this case, everybody helps mom out with the massive house care tasks.
I love the "peace in the midst of the storm" feeling I get from Michelle Duggar. She lives in constant chaos, and yet, somehow still (genuinely) smiles, and manages her family. This family has decided that the typical "American Dream" is not quite for them. Bargain hunting and saving is the name of the game. The children are used to sharing everything, their life centres around two things, their faith and their home. this family seems to have FUN!
Conversely, it seems poor Kate is often caught in the midst of the storm! Having so many of the same age must be a real challenge, like running a pre-school 24/7. I do not admire the way she treats her husband. I do admire the way she plans ahead, is super-prepared and tries to make life easier for those brave few who try and help her out. Her house is always sparkling clean. It seems to me that they are still trying to live the "perfect" keeping-up-with-the-Joneses life. She is very honest with the camera and freely admits she struggles and has mother guilt.
I called it "Mothering styles" because, quite frankly, most mothers can set the moods of their homes. Both John and Jim-bob are good hardworking men, who also happen to be big goofballs who love to play with their kids, and often create greater chaos for the mothers to handle. here is where you see the greatest difference. Michelle laughs gently and accepts her playful husband always pointing out his best attributes. Kate simply treats him like another one of the kids to be managed. These women have different personalities and goals, and it seems they are trying to choose the best for their families, but the journey to that goal looks so different!
I guess I lean towards wanting to be more like Michelle Duggar. I want to set a peaceful and joyful mood in our home...I don't want to shout (which I find myself doing lately) However, there is much I can learn from Kate too, I would love to be able to plan ahead and keep such a tidy house...even with a bunch of littles running around!
Perhaps I will keep "Watching" the show, perhaps not, there are lots more things I could be doing with my time...like playing with my boys and creating fun memories together!
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